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No. 27 · 2024Built

Plant Watering Insult Machine

A houseplant wired with a moisture sensor and a solar-powered speaker. Damp soil: silent. Drying: whining. Dry: profanity. Bone dry: the foulest language available, sustained, with feeling. Solar-powered, so it never runs out of breath. The plant has finally won the relationship.


Status
Built
Year
2024
Stack
Object · Sensors · Solar · Snark · Botany

The Object

A houseplant. Species doesn't really matter. Rigged with a soil moisture sensor and a small solar-powered speaker. The plant has gone from passive cohabitant to active complainant.

How It Behaves

The moisture sensor reads the soil. As the soil dries, the plant escalates:

  • Damp. Silent.
  • Drying. Occasional whining noises.
  • Dry. Profanity, mounting.
  • Bone dry. The foulest language available, sustained, with feeling.

Water it and the sensor reads damp again. The plant goes quiet. Until next time.

The Power Source

Solar. That's the whole point. The plant never runs out of complaining battery. There is no waiting it out. There is only watering it.

What It Argues

Plants don't have voices, which is why they get neglected. Give them voices. Give them foul voices. And watch how fast people start watering them. The plant doesn't need more advocacy. It needs better leverage.

Status

Built.